High school girl goes to teacher, tells teacher that high school boy raped her. Teacher goes to principal with concerns, offers to escort girl to her transportation home instead of leaving her on school grounds unattended. Principal has a different idea: use this girl as “bait” to try to catch teenagers “having sex” after school. Will have security follow girl around school to catch teenagers gettin’ their hormones on.
Girl is left alone at school, gets raped again (security: not there to stop it happening! surprise!), principal claims “Oh, well, I never knew the sex was nonconsensual!” but then also claims to be able to disprove that the girl was raped, claims girl “liked” the boy and was jealous of other girls who also were sexually assaulted by the boy, therefore that sex was by definition consented to!
Really, it’s more fucked up than I’ve let on. Read the link if you can. The principal called this a fucking sting operation. His words.
BTW: Upper St. Clair High School has been in the news for fucked-up dealings around girls getting raped there since before I moved here in 2006. I haven’t had a year pass when they were not in the news because girls were coming forward with allegations of sexual assault and school officials being deliberately oblivious and/or actively hostile to them as victims.
This is absolutely horrific. I had to read it twice before I realized that this girl came to school officials reporting a rape, and not only did they use her as “bait”, but that they failed to even operate the “sting” correctly (no security guards around when you’re supposed to be catching someone doing something wrong? no one following her specifically? seriously?), and most, importantly, that they never believed her in the first place. They sent this girl into danger- forced her into danger- without even admitting that she had been raped.
There’s a lot of evidence that rather than heading towards a post-racial society, racial gaps in the US are actually widening - in wealth, in test scores, and in organ donation. And recent studies have shown that white supremacy extends to whose life is and is not extended by organ donation (80% of which are kidney donations).
Hatred and fear of women in my once and future positions is a function of (what else?) the kyriarchy. I heard so much bullshit about women and teenaged girls as a teenaged girl that I started to believe it, and hate myself, and think I deserved this abuse. And then when I grew up and got stronger and stopped hating myself, I still believed that I’d deserved what I’d felt because I was a teenaged girl, and believed that teenaged girls deserved ridicule.
I had a friend over to my place last night, and I encouraged her occasional blogging (she’s a good writer, updates a couple blogs about once every two months). She kept talking about wanting to be a famous blogger, a paid blogger, etc etc etc, and I just…don’t get it. Fame is never a reason to write. Fame will likely not come from writing, and it’s certainly not going to be a direct or immediate result of writing. Readers are not found through some magical formula.
In other news, I’ve been having a terrible time lately getting paid and unpaid writing done, getting my shit together. But on the other hand, my house is the cleanest it’s been in months.
Vaseline has introduced a skin-lightening Facebook application designed to allow users to lighten their skin color in the profile pictures displayed on the social network site.
The company has chosen Bollywood star Shahid Kapur to promote the application as well as its other skin-lightening creams for men. In the widget promising to “Transform Your Face On Facebook With Vaseline Men,” Kapur’s face is presented divided into dark and fair halves.
“We started campaign advertising (for the application) from the second week of June and the response has been pretty phenomenal,” Pankaj Parihar from global advertising firm Omnicom, which designed the campaign, said in an interview with the Australian web site Adelaide Now.
Skin-whitening creams for men and women have proved popular in India. Still, foreign companies have been criticized in the local media for playing up a perceived preference for lighter skin color.
Last year a column in the Times of India, lampooned the introduction of “Healthy White Skin Lightening Body Milk” by Vaseline as designed to ensure “an Aryan glow from head to toes.”
At the time, the piece noted that the billboard advertising included the following pitch:
When it’s healthy and cared for, our skin has the natural ability to maintain a light tone and clear texture. Unfortunately, when it’s exposed to the sun, the skin’s natural lightening processes are interrupted. Pigment producing cells become increasingly active, tanning the skin, and leaving it several shades darker than it’s supposed to be.
New, Vaseline Healthy White skin lightening body milk works with the skin to reverse signs of darkening and prevent future pigmentation. A balanced combination of vitamin B3, yoghurt serum and conditioning moisturizers hydrate and even out skin tone. Triple sunscreens help prevent future darkening and encourage the skin to lighten itself.
A spokesman for Unilever, the parent company for the Vaseline brand, was not immediately available for comment.
I’m just gonna go hit my head against the wall a few times.
There’s not a whole lot I have to say about Police Women of Memphis as a show in general. I think that glorifying a very problematic justice system as this show seems to do is probably not fantastic. But, I like that it depicts ladies in positions of authority, being competent. It’s also cool that many of these women are of color. And one of the cops on the show is named “Virginia Awkward”, which is a pretty kickass name.
PWOM came to my atttention this weekend after I heard of its depiction of an almost radical act. It portrayed women as being worthy of respect, and protection. As not deserving of sexual harassment. This in itself would be worthy of praise. But this depiction is particularly worthy of singling out because the women being protected were trans women. And in a media environment that generally depicts trans women as deceptive, predatory, disgusting, and generally less than human, that’s exceptional.
This law is not about intrinsic respect for women. It’s not about liberating women. It’s not about creating a country that sees women as full, independent human beings.
This law is about limiting women’s religious expression. It’s about disrespecting what women want to wear. It’s about disregarding how full, independent human beings wish to express themselves, their marginalized background, their identity.
This ban is not about ensuring that women have “a social life”, not about keeping women from being “deprived of an identity” . This ban is about depriving women of their identity: their religion, their culture, their social interactions, their deeply held beliefs.
“and every conversation/discussion that starts with “so-and-so who is Muslim says xyz” and then goes on to talk about a) how horrible Muslim men are, and b) how foolish other Muslim women are, cannot be a fruitful or sincere discussion.
no one ever asks the woman who wears the face veil why she wears it.
even those who claim to support our right say that they do so but hope for the day when women “don’t have to” continue to wear it. that doesn’t sound like support at all.
stop trash talking Muslim men.
stop speaking about Islam if you don’t know anything about it.
stop telling Muslim women what our religion “really” teaches or how it “really” oppresses us.
it’s a freaking piece of clothe.
it doesn’t hurt you, and it dang sure isn’t hurting me.
so butt out.”—
In my experience, men don’t seem very concerned about my body hair. It’s always other women doing the policing.
I dated one guy who was completely disgusted at the thought of female body hair, and whined accordingly. But for the most part, it’s people who won’t be all up in my hairy-bits who complain and try to tell me what to do.
I have never dated a guy who cared but I’ve certainly heard stories about guys who were grossed out by any sort of body hair. It was always like 3rd or 4th hand gossip though so it could’ve been greatly exaggerated.
My dude has never said much about it. Once he responded positively during/after intercourse to my shaving my pubes off, and I concurred. (I usually have a pretty big bush, but once in a while it’s nice to go bare). Another time he said that it was too prickly to go without a rubber.
I can’t recall any of my friends talking about their dudes’ preferences though. ETA, nor have my friends ever expressed any kind of opinion on my body hair.
Deeply Problematic is hosting the next Disability Carnival! The theme this month is evidence.
Evidence can refer to having to prove one’s disability - to school, to friends, to writers, to society at large. It can refer to the expectation that people with disabilities must prove that ableism exists.
Yesterday I was talking to this awesome person named Stepha (and Jha!) who used the term “non-evident disability” and I’ve decided it is the best term ever and will be adopting it instead of “invisible”. As she said - as many people have said - so-called invisible disabilities really aren’t. They’re just not sign-posted with mobility aids or “obvious” differences.
Not a great day. One of my favorite writers died. It’s raining. I haven’t been able to get writing done. We have to give away the kittens we’ve been fostering - and since the no-kill shelter we have been waiting to give them to is full, we have to give them to the local SPCA in the height of kitten season.
At least our landlord is not pissed that we’ve been keeping the kittens without his knowledge.
Pretty much, Hyperbole and a Half is getting me through my day.
reblogged because a) i kind of need this quote, for later and b) i just bought the first four harry potters for $4 (i guess that i am actually magic, i can’t believe it was so cheap) and i am SO EXCITED. it has been at least five years since i read the series start to finish, and at least three since i’ve read any rowling.
While she denies saying it and the ultra-conservatives in Kansas say she didn’t say it, it is generally accepted Kay O’Connor did actually say she did not support women’s right to vote. She stated it in 2001, and it made its rounds again in 2005/2006 when she ran for Secretary of State. I do recall reading an article then with her saying if men took care of their wives, women wouldn’t need to vote (I can’t find a link that properly attributes this quote, but I read it in the Wichita Eagle). The ultra-conservatives/faux-libertarians defend her saying, in part, that it was a private conversation. They say our liberal media is just trying to destroy her (she who also, I kid you not, defended juvenile marriage saying there are lots of successful women who married really young, including Mary, mother of Jesus). I am so so so very glad she is no longer in state politics. If only some of our other crazies would join her …
Ableist language aside, this is awesome. I love seeing other Kansas feminists. I clearly remember Kay O’Connor saying that, too, and discussing it with my class. Hard to believe that was 9 years ago.
United States of Tara, a show about a woman with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), recently wrapped up its second season. I haven’t yet seen it, but I thoroughly enjoyed the first season—I love Toni Collette and Diablo Cody, and there are not a ton of shows about women by women. There are even less shows set in my home state of Kansas. It’s a funny, well-written, and on some levels well-executed show.
But, after rewatching and researching the show’s origins and authorship in a critical context, I was perturbed to realize that the show’s portrayal of disability was not only sensationalistic, but inherently based on appropriatiion. In United States of Tara, DID is used as a metaphor, an analogy, a plot point—part of the human experience, yes, but also an opportunity to speculate, crack jokes, and make grand statements about Life (normal life: that is, with able privilege) and Being A Woman (an everyday woman: that is, one who is not crazy).
“One of autism’s defining features is the inability to process even the most mundane social interactions. When police are involved, an autistic person’s anxiety level is likely to spike, triggering unnerving mannerisms or behaviors. The person may say nothing at all, appearing to ignore an officer’s commands. Or he may repeat back what somebody says to him, a form of communication medically known as echolalia. “You can imagine if a police officer comes up and says, ‘What’s your name?’ and the kid’s response is, ‘What’s your name?’ the police will figure he’s a smart aleck or he’s on drugs,” says Grossman. “Usually, the situation goes downhill from there.”—
It’s a nice feeling, to realize that shit has evolved to the point where feminist defense of a sexual woman is not that necessary. It doesn’t come along very often, and it’s not coincidental that it’s a young cis woman with white privilege who’s not being widely decried. I haven’t seen any feminists jumping to Ke$ha’s defense, because we’ve succeeded to the point that defense of this naked young white cis women is not that necessary, and we have bigger things to worry about. Like Oscar Grant. Or, like wringing our hands over the sexuality and professional accomplishments of a young cis woman of color (apparently).
More colloquial than I usually get. I guess I’ll see if folks like it.
“I always avoid eating them.”-President Obama, on beets
No, beets are fucking amazing. Beets are amazing roasted with oil, salt, and pepper until tender, and served on greens with goat cheese. They are earthy like mushrooms but sweet like carrots. If you don’t like beets, UR DOIN BEETS WRONG.
I like beets too. They’re easy to grow and they’re packed with strong energy and they have that unbelievable pigment. I juice them raw sometimes, which is very intense. I like them steamed, with a bit of salt, and that’s it. Or steamed and dressed with some sour cream, salt, black pepper, herb of your choice. Or any vinaigrette. Couldn’t be simpler.
The Chinese woman who gardens in the plot next to mine sees me growing beets and therefore occasionally informs me with a big smile that “beets are good for ladies!” I just smile and go about my business.
Talking about beets always reminds me of the opening lines of Tom Robbins’ Jitterbug Perfume:
The beet is the most intense of vegetables. The radish, admittedly, is more feverish, but the fire of the radish is a cold fire, the fire of discontent not of passion. Tomatoes are lusty enough, yet there runs through tomatoes an undercurrent of frivolity. Beets are deadly serious.
Beets! Golden beets are also amazing, and deeply underappreciated. My dad’s partner frequently makes oven-roasted vegetables—easy and delicious!—and beets figure prominently.
I’m inspired to make beets and bell peppers for dinner tonight. BEETS BEARS BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
We want our daughters to be fit and strong, but it’s incredibly hard to get them to exercise when we have to compete with their friends, social media and increasing amounts of homework. Startling new research has revealed that our kids are spending about eight hours a day in front of electronic devices like computers, TVs and cell phones. This most certainly is contributing to the 17 percent obesity rate for kids in the U.S. Here are five ways to get your daughter moving more without her even realizing it.
1. “Walk the talk.” Require that she pace or walk round the house for at least one hour of her phone or texting time. This can burn almost a calorie a minute.
2. Replace her computer chair with a simple balance ball. It builds core strength and improves posture.
3. “Plant” items in the TV room, like a mini trampoline, Bosu or hippity hop/balance ball - and require that kids use one of the items for an hour of their TV time. One hour can burn around 150 more calories than sitting.
4. Harness her inner entertainer and let her play “So You Wanna Be A Rock Star?” with her friends. She can make her own rock video by picking one by a favorite musician for inspiration and reenacting it. An hour of dancing and singing burns 123 calories.
5. Let her give you a “halftime show.” Every time a commercial comes on TV, press the mute button and ask her to give you a floor show. She can sing, dance or act out what just happened in the show she was watching.
We want our daughters to be skinny, but with them having lives and interests, it’s really hard to make sure they understand that their only focus should be on their body. Here are five ways to let your daughter know that she and her body will never be good enough. Don’t let her be a scary fattie like 17% of all girls with inadaquete mothers.
1. Require that forced activity accompany social interaction - because no one will like her if she’s fat.
2. Replace her comfortable chair with another reminder that she is never in good enough shape. Ignore her if she complains of back trouble.
3. Force your daughter to spend her leisure time doing unnecessary activity so that she knows she can never relax and must always burn more calories.
4. Girls just want attention! Trick her into burning calories by forcing her to perform in front of her friends.
I have to wonder. Who decided this would be a good idea? Who spearheaded this? Was participation mandatory, literally or practically?
It’s not an uncommon thing, to dislike one’s job. What if some of those women, in that picture, don’t like working at the Daily Show? How many of those women who co-signed that letter may actually concur with the characterization of TDS as sexist? Is this just meat-puppeting?
I am sure that some or even most of these women do enjoy working at TDS and do believe it to be an equitable working environment.
However, I’m also pretty sure that not all of them do, that some of them do see the environment they work in as sexist.
And making them sign the letter - even if they weren’t told their jobs depended on it, imagine being singled out as the one traitor who wouldn’t sign the letter - compounds that sexism and grinds it in - makes sure that women who work at the daily show are all the more silenced.
And I am both these things, the wonderful and the awful, the oppressed and the privileged. I am what makes feminism awful and wonderful: a voice that is empowered when I’m told to shut it, a voice that is powerful, at the cost of other’s power.
Feminism is wonderful. Feminism is destructive. These thing both exist. The brave battle does not erase the lazy privilege, and the hatred in its name does not change the beauty in its past.
god fucking DAMNIT period. i mean seriously? you’re late ALL THE FUCKING TIME. my cycle was fucking 56 DAYS last time. you’re usually at least 35-40 days, AT LEAST, and that is JUST FUCKING FINE WITH ME.
just when i am planning a fun weekend with SWIMMING and CUNNILINGUS and TINY UNDERWEAR and SHORT SKIRTS and TRAVELLING and BATHS and ALL OF THAT
you have to act REAL CUTE and show up on the 28th day like “oh, i’m sorry! weren’t you expecting me?” NO I WAS NOT FUCKING EXPECTING YOU. I DON’T CARE IF PERIODS USUALLY COME ON THE 28TH DAY, YOU ARE NOT A USUAL PERIOD.
it’s nice to know that the bloating and the bitching of the past week are soon to be over, and also that i’m not pregnant, that’s always pretty cool, but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST COME ON. at least be CONSISTENT about being inconsistent.
in short, FUCK YOU PERIOD. and you know what? i’m going to do ALL OF THE ABOVE (except maybe the cunnilingus) ANYWAY and you’re just going to have to DEAL. NYAH.
If you fall between the ages of 18 and 35 (and if you could give a range as to where you fall on that spectrum) what, in your opinion, are the major cultural touchstones (e.g. the Kennedy Assassination) that you think define our generation/whatever you want to call it?
(please reply or reblog with your answer—answering isn’t working!!!)
Lewinsky, 2000 election, 9/11 obvs, Katrina, Britney Spears. Probably the oil spill. Obama. Pixar movies, particularly Finding Nemo and the Toy Story trilogy. Lady Gaga, probably. Eminem. Beyonce. Jay-Z. South Park. Calvin and Hobbes.
Women don’t deserve equality based on the degree or kind of oppression we’ve personally endured; we deserve equality because oppression is wrong. It’s a fucking social justice movement, not a game of “trump my trauma.”
So transwomen everywhere, on behalf of straight, white, 30-something feminists—with the disappointing exception of radically misguided fundamentalists like Miska—let me make it official: You are welcome. You are welcome to access our spaces, our services, our resources, our political movement, and our energy. BECAUSE THEY’RE YOURS, TOO.
Fucking shit, I love everything you say.
I appreciate and applaud the sentiment! I like sluthaditcoming! HOWEVER. I don’t really think that a welcome is enough, to be frank.
Feminism has a long long long history of cissexism and transphobia. Cissupremacy was at one point central to feminism. Second-wave feminists like Mary Daly, Andrea Dworkin, and yes, even Gloria Stienem (though she’s gotten better I believe) actively worked to exclude trans women from woman-only spaces - which meant life or death when you’re talking about rape crisis and domestic violence survivor shelters. Trans women, who face a MUCH higher rate of gendered violence than cis women, were turned away from these spaces, and died because of it, and that’s largely feminism’s fault.
This legacy has created a cis-centric feminism in which trans women are dehumanized and excluded to this very day and in which cis women like me participate. Trans women still face extremely high rates of violence, and like all marginalized women their safety is still not considered a priority the way, say, abortion is.
We should not expect trans women to just join us because we waved and asked nicely, to trust a group that has contributed to violence against them, because we finally acknowledged that they are women. We’ve got to do more than just welcome women in, than deign to finally do something we should have been doing all along (I don’t think this is totally SHIC’s point of view, btw - she may share these views, it just got me thinking).
Cis feminists need to do more than just welcome. We need to repair feminism: to centralize trans women on a consistent basis, to take their violence and degradation as seriously as we do our own.
The response to my post about the lack of female instrumentalists in my musical catalog was fantastic. I’m thinking about starting a feature called “Tip-off Tuesday” in which I solicit suggestions from my readership for specific kinds of media by marginalized groups. For instance: novels by people of color, webcomics by people with disabilities, television dramas helmed by women.
Hopefully people would write in with media that they’re looking to find resources on. It wouldn’t have to be about whatever the person’s marginalization is, but about promoting authors and other creators whose voices aren’t centralized - kind of like my abandoned 50 books for problematic times project.